The Martial Arts

**elgordoboy** · 04-11-2009, 09:02 AM

I have recently been given cause to seek out a mentor in the art of self defense. Said mentor should be able to pass a background check confirming that he/she is not the lifeform from which I am seeking protection. Original thinking and an ability to develop new "fighting styles" will also be a requirement as I do not plan to be off of my bicycle when I leave the house. Should I be attacked, I figure that being on my bike gives me an advantage on retreating once I get over the disadvantage of not being up to speed. It is during this "acceleration" phase that I will be most vulnerable and need my "moves". I am hoping there will be a few applicants well versed in grappling as it will need to be adapted to execute on stationary targets (my aggressor) from a bicycle seat (me) as the seat moves away from the aggressor, perhaps some sort of figure 4 or a sleeper hold. Sort of a reverse Akido or something, using my motion against their leverage. HtH only as I will not have room to carry weapons, though I suppose I could improvise with a weighted gatorade bottle. I will be evading an opponent of unkown size and skill level so I need a general purpose bike-centric regimen like a Mountain Biking Krav Maga. I am willing to acknowledge any collaborative effort in regards to blogs,books, movies etc..after my opponent(s) has been disposed of. I know I am not supposed to end a sentence with a preposition as I just did but perhaps my new sensei can improve my grammar as well and it will be more conventional than the self defense because I don't use grammar while on my bike. Thanks in advance and Happy Easter. **whistling** "Here comes Peter CottonTail hoppig down the bunny trail, hippity-hoppity Easter's on its way...."

**sunspotbaby** · 04-11-2009, 09:22 AM

Good luck in your most unusual quest Gordo!

**Will B** · 04-11-2009, 10:37 AM

Have you been drinking the Robitussin again?

**LuciferSam** · 04-11-2009, 12:49 PM

Pepper spray maybe???

**audie** · 04-11-2009, 04:18 PM

**elgordoboy** · 04-11-2009, 04:51 PM

I am under the influence of neither Robitussin nor Pepper spray. Robo just makes me sleepy but I could see how being on pepper spray might liven things up, any suggestions as to brands/flavors? And do I take that orally, sublingually, or is it most effective if I squirt it in my eyes?

**hnooe** · 04-11-2009, 05:19 PM

EGB, I know things have been rough in the political forum of late, and I really relate to your personal cause.......hmmmm,so tell me,.has the U.S. Culture War officially started yet?

**Lynnie** · 04-11-2009, 09:46 PM

Huh?

**audie** · 04-12-2009, 05:46 AM

Originally Posted by Lynnie

Huh?

**LuciferSam** · 04-12-2009, 05:58 AM

Originally Posted by elgordoboy

I am under the influence of neither Robitussin nor Pepper spray. Robo just makes me sleepy but I could see how being on pepper spray might liven things up, any suggestions as to brands/flavors? And do I take that orally, sublingually, or is it most effective if I squirt it in my eyes?

I meant as a small footprint self-defense method.

**Miss Kitty** · 04-12-2009, 07:13 AM

Originally Posted by Lynnie

Huh?

Originally Posted by audie

...guess we will have to wait for the English version movie to come out.

**elgordoboy** · 04-12-2009, 07:38 AM

Originally Posted by Miss Kitty

...guess we will have to wait for the English version movie to come out.

It will be subtitled....in pig latin. Appyhay Easteray

**Lynnie** · 04-12-2009, 12:09 PM

After Sweet Pea and I were attacked, my friends all bought me pepper spray, one was even called bear spray! Yikes. Carried that stuff with me all the time. I went to see the Stones downtown and they would not let me enter the bldg with it!

I had to throw it away......don't think they didn't hear a thing or two from me. As well as Philips Arena the following week!

Be careful with it - you have to spray it regularly or it gums up.....lot of good that'll do you!