Hula Hoop--Portal To A New Dimension

A long-time AA member used the following demonstration to help a new-comer he was sponsoring. After listening patiently to a long, whining diatribe, he placed a hula hoop on the ground in front of his sponsee. He said, "You seem distracted from your recovery because you are focusing on other people's business and matters beyond your control. Do me a favor and step into the Hula Hoop...".

Somewhat mystified he did so. The sponsor then said, 'Everything you need to stay sober and have a happy life is inside the hoop. Everything outside the hoop is none of your business.""

"But you don't understand," the newcomer responded in exasperation, "my wife won't listen to me, my boss is unfair, and my daughter is in trouble!" His sponsor firmly reiterated that only what was within the hoop was his to change, and that his sole responsibility was to do so!

Used in this "zen" fashion, the Hula Hoop has a set of instructions: The Serenity Prayer.

"God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change....

Courage, to change the things I can and...

Wisdom, to know the difference.

I used to think the requested "courage to change" would make me a crusader righting all the many wrongs I perceived in the world.

Today, I know that it means having the courage to look at myself and to change my attitudes and actions. Teaching aids like the Hula Hoop help me to focus my energy where it is needed. When I do this my life is somehow transformed into a new dimension of peace and happiness.

This happy new dimension is totally dependent on how much I can accept in the world as being beyond my grandiose concept of control and fairness. No matter how alluring or seductive the illusion of control may be, I cannot change the opinions, attitudes and actions of others. That is their business.

In God's world nothing is without purpose or accidental. When I am critical of others, or of the fairness of a situation, it betrays an attitude of knowing better than God.

By accepting that the one thing I have the ability (and responsibility) to change is me, I find I have power and freedom to alter my reality.

We have an expression: "If I am not the problem, then there is no solution."

This means that we realize we are not the victim of others, that we "own" our present reality as the result of our cumulative decisions, actions and attitudes. This concept can be ego-shattering. And that is good.

Simply put, recognizing that we got ourselves into this mess also means that we have the power to get ourselves out. That is good news indeed, and there is plentiful help and guidance available when we have the humility to ask for it.