Chaperones and beach rentals

[Donna]

Homeowners beware: This past weekend, our house was inadvertently rented (by our management company) to a large group of young people celebrating their high school graduation. They were from the Birmingham area and were there not with parents, but with a so-called chaperone, absolutely against our rental policy. Turns out this man works for the same group that chaperoned the Holloway girl's high school trip to Aruba, where she disappeared. When I called the house on Friday night, the chaperone was not on the premises, nor were any parents. When they checked out the next day, the house and the swimming pool area were littered with beer bottles and broken glass. Some chaperone. Thankfully, no one was hurt. I cannot imagine what parents are thinking to send their children off in this kind of situation, one that would seem to invite a tragedy. We will certainly be doing our own screening of folks who rent our house in the future. The parents of these children were lucky; the Holloways were not.

[beachmouse]

I just don't get some parents these days. I used to know a guy who worked for the Walton County sheriff's office. He told us of a couple of occasions where he'd gotten to deal with groups of drunk 12-13 year olds- parents nowhere in sight.

He said he actually enjoyed calling the parents and telling them they had to make it from Birmingham/Montgomery/Atlanta by 3:00am or their kid was getting charged. Maybe if they were inconvenienced it would sink in to their skulls that it was a bad idea for them to dump their kids unsupervised by the beach.

Ya know, 98-99% of the people down here, local and tourist alike, are genuinely good folks. So what is it with the 2%'ers who behave like they were raised by wolves?

[BeachDreamer]

That is so sad, Donna. I can't even fathom sending my kids off with some other adult to party like this. It scares me to think what could have happened to those kids. Is there any recourse for you? Could the chaperone company be complained to, for deceiving you as to the occupants, as well as providing a drinking environment for teenagers? Very bad for business! Grrr...

[Paula]

Fortunately, in the 3 years we've been renting our cottages, we haven't yet had that problem. However, at least one other person who rents in our community had very serious problem with renters who were young. The neighbors in the other cottages called the police and they were taken to jail (what they did was bad enough to go to jail for). Another person who rents had young people staying at the cottage who supposedly had a chaperone who was nowhere in sight. They were evicted.

So far, we count ourselves very lucky but I'm sure our day will come. To do your best to avoid this problem, prominently state that "no one under 18 is allowed to rent without someone 25 year old or more on the premises each night of the stay" and let them know they'll be asked to leave and forfeit their deposit or pay some kind of fine if they do not follow this requirement (ask your agency if you have one if this is enforcable and, if so, how); ask your neighbors to let your agency or you know if it looks like the people staying there are under-age and that you would welcome their intervention and that you, of course, would do the same for them. Give them the contact number for the agency. Post the property/community rules in a prominent place.

I think the places that are the most at risk are the bigger places that rent to a lot of people because young unchaperoned people are probably more likely to want to travel in groups and share the cost.

Hope this helps.

[southof30A]

The real party at fault here is your "management" company. Post the offending company's name on this board so we can all keep an eye on them.

[CampCreekLou]

Paula,

Sounds like your second story was my place.....

Fortunately no damage to our place. But rumor has it they did some to the place they were moved to.

Not much you can do when the renters lie to your management company. I'm just thankful the owners in the neighborhood are watching out for each other.

C.

[Sea Star]

I, too, would be curious to know who your management company is. Glad to hear nothing "bad" happened to any of those kids, and I hope the damage to your house is minimal. It seems like the people who organized/chaperoned this trip should be charged with criminal offenses to minors. And parents wonder why their children get hurt, disappear, etc. !!?? How sad.

[kurt]

If an adult rents the place for teens, the rental company may not know what's going on.

[Smiling JOe]

It is unfortunate that these kids are wrecking your homes. I feel for you.

Some of you are wanting to point fingers at the management companies, but how many of you think that the teenagers went in to the office to get the key? I think the management company is doing what they can. Do you want them to install "security" cams on the outside of your home, so that they can track who comes and goes?

Some of you point the fingers at the parents. I think you are more on track. I would also remind you that these are high school graduates are about to go off to college without a chaperone. Do you expect the parents to supervise their kids' daily actions when they leave for college?

[Paula]

I think the best thing is to have people who rent out places in the same communities keep an eye on each other's places if possible when they are there. It's not too hard to spot trouble brewing or a lot of young people who need to be chaperoned, and a quick call to the rental agency or owner with the intention of asking them to leave for having misrepresented themselves (and losing the money they invested in the vacation) will make them think twice next time. I don't know what the rules are though for not returning vacation deposits/fees when people misrepresent themselves. I certainly would contact the owner/rental agency if I was in the area and saw people potentially abusing a property in my community or if I thought people were underage.

[UofL]

Did this just happen? The week of June 6th? The big house next to us had a lot of partying with one token person who was over 25 (looked it). Didn't see him much. The rest looked young but I can't tell anymore. The people next to us called the police on Tuesday because of the noise. They said they were quiet after that.

[southof30A]

Yes, I do feel it is the responsibility of the "management company" to monitor their renters' activities. No need for a security camera - it is usually pretty obvious from the outside when you have a house full of teenies on a party roll. The responsibility of the management company is more than just collecting rents - they have an implied duty to protect my interests as a property owner while my property is on their rental program. Supposed to be a partnership, remember?

I like the idea of all of us monitoring the activities going on around us. Any guest (kids or adults) who are acting up should be kicked out!

[lenzoe]

One thing you can do if you notice loud, obnoxious, or un-chaperoned activity is to call the management company of the property so that they become aware of the problem. A neighbor of ours did this with our management company last year. The management company dealt with it and subsequently notified us. We were grateful.

[BeachDreamer]

SJ, hopefully if people diligently raise their children, they will be able to make smarter decisions about whether or not to go on a weekend party binge like this one.

It's true that the rental company can only do so much to discourage this. Would it be effective to put in the agreement that teenagers need to be with their parents or guardians, rather than a "chaperone"?

[kurt]

Did this just happen? The week of June 6th? The big house next to us had a lot of partying with one token person who was over 25 (looked it). Didn't see him much. The rest looked young but I can't tell anymore. The people next to us called the police on Tuesday because of the noise. They said they were quiet after that.

Welcome back - that would be Donna's house, "Conch Out", next to the one you were in.

I yelled "go Cardinals" at some people on the porch but got no response. :lol:

[UofL]

That must have been the people on the other side of the duplex - they were from Tallahassee and Washington State. Sorry we missed you. We rode our bicycles every morning, then went to the beach (took down our tent everyday, thank you:) until 3:00. We love this spot. Found someone I worked with in Louisville (KFC R&D) who now works in Seaside. Glad there wasn't so much damage this time.

[Smiling JOe]

I don't have the answer to solve this problem. I know that a chaperone is nothing more than someone who is old enough to obtain the rental keys, buy alcohol, and get kids out of trouble (jail)when necessary, without informing the parents . They are not there to supervise and keep kids. Unfortunately, parents are often willing to put on their blinders and pretend not to notice.

As BeachDreamer suggested, it might be a great idea to require a parent or legal guardian to check, with the exception of married couples who may be under 25. I was a teenager once, and you wouldn't have wanted me to stay at your house with only a chaperone (alcohol purchaser) and my classmates. However, if I were staying at your house with my friend and his parents, you would have loved for me to stay.

[Donna]

I am receiving more information on this situation hourly, some of it from those of you kind enough to offer firsthand observations via this Message Board. Thanks for that. There are two reasons I posted this message here and elsewhere (the Aruba travel Web site). First, I would hope that parents would take note that the chaperone they hired to protect their kids was AWOL at critical times and that there was illegal abuse of alcohol under this person's supervision, which was all too apparent and is documented in photos after they left the premises. Our objective is to make parents more aware of the dangers of sending their children off without parental supervision. Second, I think that all homeowners should ask more questions of their management companies and make sure rules are in place to prevent a tragedy. We have done this over the past weekend and today with ours and they are already taking measures in response. The reason I have not and will not mention the management company by name is that they were misled, too and it could happen to others with other companies. Other than this occurrence, we believe this company does as good a job as we would get with other area management companies in the area.

I will point out that homeowners need to read the fine print in their rental agreements and check it for changes from one year to the next. For example, it was pointed out to us that they equate the term "guardian" to that of "chaperone" (not a legal equivalent) and that the 1:4 ratio of parents to underage persons is for the Spring Break period only, although this is not clearly stipulated in the contract language. We are in the process of clarifying this in no uncertain terms right now. We will also be making periodic calls directly to our home at critical times, asking to speak with a parent.

Finally, we will also have friends, family members who live there, and neighbors keeping an eye out at the house, in addition to the management company. If we have any reason to think that minors are being served alcohol in our home, we will call the County Sheriff and have arrests made. I would venture that parents unwilling to make the trip to the beach with the kids to prevent this from happening will make a trip down to Juvenile Hall in record time. That sounds harsh, but we are not willing to assume liability for unsupervised underage kids when their parents are not assuming responsibility. And never mind the so-called chaperone. One posted reply from the other site actually asked didn't I know that the adult chaperone's job is to buy the beer and take it to the house. Egads.

If a hardline attitude can save one life or future for one of these kids, it will have been time and angst well spent. So I will now climb down from the proverbial soapbox and hope that those who might be effected by situations like this will take our message in the way it is intended. We want everyone to love Grayton as we do and to have a great time down there. In fact, we like the idea of our renters thinking of our house as their house at Grayton Beach. But above all, we want people to be as safe as possible.

[Paula]

Your soapbox is very well taken and shared by all of us. I think it's important for all of us who rent to check the wording of our contracts with our agencies regarding minors and guardians/chaperones, our legal rights to keep any rental money even if people are dismissed from the cottage because of misrepresentation or other reasons (or damage property), other legal rights we have to protect our guests and property, and under what conditions guests can even go to jail (e.g., providing alcohol to minors if they are the guardian/chaperone even if they are not present but make it possible in other ways for this to happen). Granted, this is a rare event, but this message stream is a good reminder that we have to think about it. I certainly will be checking the wording of our agency's rental agreements regarding minors and will be asking them how they deal with this. Thanks for raising this issue and encouraging this discussion.

[phdphay]

Last summer a family with teenagers was renting our house for a week. Our neighbors who don't rent sort of keep an eye on things and noticed that the kids were very unsupervised. They saw the teens smoking marijuana and jumping from the second floor balcony into our pool! Thank goodness no one was hurt. Now we have signs everywhere saying, "No diving from porches." Of course, does that mean that we need to post signs for EVERY stupid thing someone could do, like, "Don't set your hair on fire" or "Don't jump on a knive if it is pointed towards your body" or whatever?

But, heck, even our own kids can be thoughtless. My daughter was staying at our house with a bunch of friends during Georgia Tech's spring break this year. One night they stayed up until sunrise partying. Besides having neighbors complain, the pool guy just happened to come that morning to find the pool and pool area full of Silly String and beer cans. He woke them up (you know they were hung over) and made them clean up so he could service the pool. I read those kids the riot act. They know that if this ever happens again, they can't use our house. BTW the next time they used it, the place was so pristine that the cleaning service didn't change all of the beds because they were made up so perfectly, they thought they were unused. The next set of renters complained because the sheets were dirty.

[BeachDreamer]

Silly string and beer cans in the pool... it's bad when a renter's worst nghtmare is their own off-spring! :blink:

[kurt]

The ramblin' wreck ???

[aquaticbiology]

you have to be careful, but please be selective in your judgement. as a previous victim of the 'reverse' side of youth culture, we were very calm, mature, well behaved, boring, upper-iq scientists-in-training but sometimes we got treated like we were going to steal the silverware. the safest bet is to charge a really huge deposit to cover anything that happens, intentional or not. worst thing we ever did was to spill coffee by accident on a nice carpet.

[phdphay]

The ramblin' wreck ???
I had always heard that all Tech kids were nerds. Not so! Those kids know how to party. Yes, there are a lot of nerds there, but not in the Greek crowd from what I've seen.

Now MIT was another story. My daughter was there a year and left. She said that no one that she met there had any social skills. She and her best friend were the only two people that she knew at MIT who went somewhere on spring break. Everyone else she knew stayed in Cambridge and studied! How weird is that? She is so normal that people in Boston didn't believe that she went to MIT and would make her prove it by showing them her MIT ID card.

[BeachDreamer]

MarineBiology, I was the same. Never made trouble, never got in trouble. To top it off, my husband and I married at 18 and 19 years old, and it is very frustrating to be treated like a naughty teenager when you are married and raising a family.

Even now, at 27 years old, cashiers will glare at me and accuse me of having fake ID when I go in to buy spray paint or super glue or *gasp* an alcoholic beverage. I have lost count of how many times I've had to defend myself by explaining that not only am I of age, I have a husband of 9 years, two kids, and drive a minivan. How much more domesticated can you get!

Unfortunately, so many teens are wild and ungoverned that it taints the whole generation. I guess every generation has dealt with that in it's own turn.

[Donna]

A final comment from us on this subject. After some investigation and critical feedback from Mountain Brook folks, it would appear that the chaperone who occupied our home had no relationship to the chaperones on the infamous Aruba trip. This has been confirmed by adults who were on that trip, who are suffering their own agony without opportunists such as this guy. The fact that this fella would make the statements he did and allow that beer party tell me that he's an unsavory character, nonetheless. So a good idea to be aware that this guy is out there, duly employed and probably looking for his next opportunity. I just wanted to clarify the accuracy of the statements that he made and that were reported in my first post.

I'm also happy to report that we are very pleased at the steps our management company is taking to prevent situations like this in the future. The value of these communications is in knowing that such people are operating in our environments. We are now returning to regularly scheduled happy thoughts about Grayton and our house there!

[lenzoe]

I'm sorry, but I find the concept of hiring a company to chaperone your kids, if that is what actually happened, totally bizarre.

[BeachDreamer]

I'm sorry, but I find the concept of hiring a company to chaperone your kids, if that is what actually happened, totally bizarre.

I wonder how that works. Do the kids decide to go, and then find an adult to rent their accomodations for them? Or do the parents agree to the trip and hire the chaperone? I've never heard of hiring a stranger to chaperone someone's kids on a vacation before.

[phdphay]

Actually there was a large group of parents at my daughter's former school who took their kids starting at age 13 to Cancun on spring break and would let them go out unsupervised in groups and drink whatever they wanted. Apparently in Cancun there is no minimum drinking age. It totally horrified me that parents would do this. So I guess the parents were unpaid chaperones, doing a minimal amount of chaperoning?

[aquaticbiology]

That's just messed up. Where was I when they were handing out the invitations for such a trip?? The best we got was a tour of Washington DC which I ended up spending entirely at the Smithsonian photographing their geology specimens with the school's science teacher. I got to go and work my tail off from dawn to dusk for 5 days, had to put on white gloves, and got to heave around some hugely expensive mineralogical pieces. Only drinking I did was Gatorade. Needless to say it was absolute science heaven and I'd do it agin in a heartbeat! I love science (and sand)! Cancun, huh? Jeez, I could have worn my wetsuit and cataloged some new shells for my shell collection!

[lollygal]

We have several rentals that we have managed ourselves for a couple of years having previously been with a management company. I have not had a bad experience yet, but I was asked this past spring by a neighbor in Chattanooga if I was going to be at the beach during this particular week of spring vacation and would I pick up the key for her daughter and friends rental. It seems this mom had rented a nice beach home for her daughter (1st year college) and girl friends to spend the week. She was just hoping I would be willing to pick up the key at the management company!! It seems she didn't want to have to drive 6 hours to pick up a key and then come home leaving them to party!! Needless to say, my answer was "NO" and I listed the reasons why.

[Miss Kitty]

This topic is so very sad to me. Another example of what parents can buy (chaperones) for their children, not what they can give (time). I live in Dallas and have never heard of hiring chaperones for these trips. I was a chaperone on a trip to Atlantis for 40 kids from my son's senior h.s. class (now there's a place I do not need to go back to!!). We had a 4 to 1 ratio of kids to parents (moms and dads). We held meetings and had all sorts of contracts signed by kids and parents. We let parents know we were not babysitting, but would be checking in with our groups face to face once a day. If any of them had been arrested/jailed or caught by one of us doing anything illegal....they would be put on the next plane. We were lucky...there was no guarantee that any of our planning/contracts/rules would keep 40 kids safe when they are legal to drink, gamble, etc. I wonder if I would still be wanting to do this now? Probably not.

[sunsetdunes]

The real party at fault here is your "management" company. Post the offending company's name on this board so we can all keep an eye on them.

Yeah, glad you put "management" in quotes. :clap_1:

[Suncat]

I'm sorry, but I find the concept of hiring a company to chaperone your kids, if that is what actually happened, totally bizarre.


I guess I have missed something--I had never heard of this either until the Aruba case. Did the Mt. Brook students have hired chaperones?
Isn't the drinking age in Florida 21?

[Kimmifunn]

They did have chaperones...but if I don't recall, my senior trip to Cancun in '98 (Vestavia High School- same area as Mt. Brook) we had about 60 kids go and we had chaperones that we NEVER saw. Basically it was 4 sets of obnoxious parents that got a free trip out of it. We went wild in Cancun...I'm not going to lie, but it's also Cancun. As for renting in Grayton, my parents have a house on the program and have never had this problem. And all the times I begged and begged them to rent us our own house they never did...as they thought it may come back to haunt them! We did rent houses throught The Beaches of South Walton though...we were about 23 and 24 and we didn't have problems. We also didn't trash the house...

[spinDrAtl]

Our management co (on site) will kick ANYONE out, no refunds, no questions, for violations of the rules - noise, excessive partying etc. But I don't think we would have the problems with underage groups due to onsite management and security.

[wetwilly]

My agency is not onsite but that exact story happened in a house down the street from ours where a mother drove 6.5 hrs to Seagrove checked her under 21 yr old son and a group of his friends (most under 21 yr old) and then drove back home to leave them their to party and do springbreak. They got loud and it was obvious to some folks that they were unsupervised and to the credit of my agency they kicked them out promptly. It was dumbfounding to me that some people would do that but it happens and the mother when she came back down to pick them up and pay for some minor damage could not believe that the agency would "treat them that way". She sould have looked in the mirror and asked herself why she was treating her kids that way and why she was not working to spend more time with her kids....my agency is very strict about this. :clap_1:

[iqueequeg]

My agency is not onsite but that exact story happened in a house down the street from ours where a mother drove 6.5 hrs to Seagrove checked her under 21 yr old son and a group of his friends (most under 21 yr old) and then drove back home to leave them their to party and do springbreak. They got loud and it was obvious to some folks that they were unsupervised and to the credit of my agency they kicked them out promptly. It was dumbfounding to me that some people would do that but it happens and the mother when she came back down to pick them up and pay for some minor damage could not believe that the agency would "treat them that way". She sould have looked in the mirror and asked herself why she was treating her kids that way and why she was not working to spend more time with her kids....my agency is very strict about this. :clap_1:

There's a seperate thread about what renters want from the homes they rent. But I wanted to put in here that as a renter (who is a long way past spring break age), I would consider it a plus if the owners had a stern warning about loud partying in the rental agreement. It would indicate to me that the unit will be more likely to be clean, and that the area will be peaceful.

[wetwilly]

My agreement that I use when I rent direct does have a clause that says no "open" parties and loud music and my agency has one too. Plus both have a clause that states that someone over 25 must be staying at the unit and that it will not be rented to college kids and is a "family" rental unit...

[gr8mom]

I'm also confused about these "chaperones" as they are called. Are you saying that some of these are just paid jobs with no connection/relation to the children they are supervising? If so, I guess I'm really feeling old and out of touch. I'm almost 40, my oldest child is 13, and I can't even imagine sending my child into a situation like this. I can see where this could be a real problem for management companies to discern whether these groups are actually unsupervised/under-supervised!

[Donna]

I think the answer on this issue is for owners to make it very clear to their management companies that they will not rent to groups of underage kids without at least one set of parents of those kids on the property at all times. Two sets of parents for a group of a dozen or more makes more sense. A big part of the problem is renting over the Internet, a practice that is much more prevalent than in the past. There is no way for the rental company to necessarily know who is reserving the house, and a check comes in as deposit without anyone actually talking with those renting. Then a so-called "chaperone" comes in to pick up the keys or keys are left for a late check-in. We now require that there be some credible communication between the management company and the renters between the time of their reservation and their stay. In addition, I reserve the right to call the house at any reasonable hour and ask to speak with the parent in charge. I really hate doing this, frankly, but someone has to ask these questions. And check your management agreement language, because ours was slightly reworded to allow a "guardian," which was somehow translated as "chaperone." Not even close to a legal equivalent. We have made it clear that this should not happen again.

In the future, we will watch last minute reservations very carefully, too. Our families tend to roll their deposits over from one summer to the next or at least book months in advance. When we have an open week and it fills at the last minute, this is a sign of a rather impromptu gathering. Such groups are typically not planning very far in advance. Particularly the case with spring break groups. Good luck, owners and stay involved!

[newyorker]

I can't help but weigh in on this thread--I'm an academic dean at a "highly selective" liberal arts college in upstate NY NE (and I come down to SoWal to escape from "new yawkers" and esp obnoxious college students). The problems of the students you have renting are also ones my college and many others face--students who pay our admittedly skyhigh tuition/board rates feel "entitled" to party ("study hard/play hard")--and it is not unusual to have to ship drunk kids to the emergency ward on weekends. But their parents are not upset--and in fact, we have 1st year students whose parents cart in the liquor as they are coming for orientation! Thus, I'm not surprised at the expectation that renting at the beach should be a place to be particularly "party-hardy".
I do have a few suggestions not already made: for groups: why not ask for the name and age of every person staying at your house? (contracts I've signed haven't asked for that--I'm happy to do this for my family). Why not ask that each person in a group sign something affirming they've read your rules? (we demand this for our students going on terms abroad--at least then, we can legally note they've read the rules) I would second the idea of a very large deposit for large houses.
I love being a dean, and most of the students I deal with are wonderful, smart kids. But there is a sizeable minority who feel that it is their right to party (and trash our campus--we had $800K worth of damage this year--and our campus has only 2100 students). But I love Seagrove Beach, and I don't want to vacation next to this group either.

[Beach Runner]

This is sort of tangential, but since we're on the subject of college kids misbehaving, here is a great link regarding college students and drinking. It was sent to me by a friend who is a dean and is on pins and needles every weekend, hoping that some student enrolled at her college doesn't do something stupid.

http://www.collegedrinkingprevention.gov/reports/Parents/default.aspx